Letting go of control

Some of you may have heard, I am saying YES to my kids whenever possible, and really, it is ALWAYS possible. Sometimes it is easier than others, but it is always POSSIBLE. Like earlier this evening, when I had dinner ready, and my youngest was still next door playing with his friend. I called and asked to speak to him. He got on the phone and I asked him if he would like to come home, as I had made dinner, daddy was home, and his special pizza was just coming out of the oven. He said he wasn't ready, he and his friend were doing a project.

I am sure my neighbor believed I had called to tell him to come home (it was already 6:30). I didn't. I asked him, and he decided not to join us. I hung up the phone, the rest of us ate, and about a half hour later he came home. To eat? No, to change clothes. He and his friend decided to go out and play in the mud (it has been raining all week). So he changed and out he went again. In anticipation of a very wet, cold and dirty return, I started a hot tub for him.

My sweet little man finally did come home. He was filthy, and freezing! The first thing he asked was if he could take a bath. I was so happy to be able to tell him it was all ready for him. And when he got out, he loved eating and telling us all about his adventure. He and his dad are now cuddled up on the couch reading a story.

It was a great evening. No one was denied doing what they needed to do, no one tried to control the others around them. I am learning not only to say YES, but also to give up the silly notion that I can somehow control my kids. What I can do is listen carefully, watch intently, love unconditionally, and be open to that which is right before me.