I am a bit over 7 weeks post mastectomy. Boob-free. Scar heavy, tight skinned and still lacking in full shoulder range of motion. I have returned to almost all of my activities, but am still struggling with full wheel position (back-bend) and shoulder stand. I know, this is not something all 43 year olds feel the need to do, but I do. I can, however, do a cart-wheel, and I have put a few tight yoga tops on without even paying the slightest attention to my chest. Big breakthroughs.
I find myself thinking about breast reconstruction, as I have many times in the past, as I spent 7 years quite lop-sided. I have always been "small", as in, training bras were my staple. I have never given "enhancement" any thought, other than, "why the hell would someone DO that????". I could not understand why someone would put a foreign body into a healthy chest. I admit my bias has been toward breast cancer - keep away from potentially cancerous substances being put in the body.
So here I sit. Flat chested beyond words. My sternum sticks out. It is like my boobs were scooped out with huge ice creams scoopers and left craters in my chest. I didn't really know how this would look. I guess I need to pump up my pects.
I could meet with a plastic surgeon and really go over my options. Muscle flaps or implants. Neither option is appealing to me. I am still not willing to part with any muscle (abdominal or latissimus dorsi) in order to enhance my chest, and between the radiation I had on the right and my current aversion to silicon, implants are not likely. So....breast-free?
There are some real benefits to being breast-free. No bras! Really. NO BRAS! I believe many women forget how annoying bras really are. They itch, move up, stretch out, and interfere with many good outfits. I don't have this issue anymore. I can buy all those cute summer tops and not wonder how to hide bra straps. I can bend forward as much as I want, and I am not going to fall out of any top. I can wear strapless, backless and unsupported anything. Very cool.
The question becomes: Can I be a "real girl", can I be "sexy", can I feel good about my body without those frontal bumps our culture has given so much value to? Well,
why the hell not?
Breasts do not the sexy me make. I refuse to give breasts the power to determine my loveliness, my desirability, my self-esteem. I am a breast-free, cancer-free mom force. I will dance, run, walk and do yoga to my hearts content, without a bra, and quite happily. And I will tell other women how incredibly wonderful they are, just as they are, no more surgery required.